Is Your Partner Cheating? 10 Subtle Signs to Look For

Your relationship has been feeling off lately. The intimacy and connection you once shared seem strained, and you have a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that something is amiss. While no one wants to consider the possibility of infidelity, ignoring the signs will only make the situation worse.

The truth may be painful, but knowing where you stand is the only way to protect yourself and make an informed decision about the future of your relationship. Look for these 10 subtle signs to determine if your partner’s affection has wandered elsewhere. The answers you seek may be closer than you think if you know the clues to spot.

Though confronting the issue won’t be easy, you owe it to yourself to face the truth with eyes wide open. Prepare to have an honest conversation and find out once and for all if your partner has really been cheating or if your concerns have been unwarranted.

The time for uncertainty and doubt has passed – now is the time for answers.

They’re Protecting Their Phone

If your partner’s phone behavior has changed recently, it could be a sign that something is amiss. Pay attention to the following signs:

Their phone is suddenly always face down. If your partner never used to care where their phone was placed but now is deliberately positioning it to face down whenever it’s not in use, this could indicate they are hiding notifications or messages they don’t want you to see.

They take their phone with them whenever they leave the room. Constantly taking the phone to the bathroom, out to take the trash out, or anywhere else they are going could mean they are exchanging messages they intend to delete before you might spot them.

Notifications are turned off. If notifications for texts, calls, or messaging apps are suddenly disabled, your partner may be trying to avoid detection of interactions with someone else.

Passcodes or fingerprints are newly enabled. Adding a lock to a previously unlocked phone could signify your partner is securing it to hide correspondence or apps they use to communicate with another romantic interest.

Browsing history and call logs are cleared. Regularly deleting the history of websites visited, searches conducted, calls made, and texts sent is a tactic used to erase evidence of virtual encounters with someone on the side.

If several of these signs seem familiar, don’t ignore your instincts. Have an open, honest, and compassionate conversation with your partner about your concerns, and look for reasonable explanations that could put your mind at ease.

Let them know their secretive phone behavior is damaging your ability to trust them so you can work to rebuild that trust together. However, be prepared for the possibility that they may disclose the truth that they have been unfaithful.

With communication and counseling, some relationships can heal and become stronger, while others may end. But living in doubt and suspicion will only cause further harm.

Unexplained Expenses or Receipts

Unexplained charges on credit card statements, ATM withdrawals you didn’t make, or receipts for items you didn’t purchase could indicate your partner is hiding financial infidelities. Look for the following signs:

Expenditures that don’t match your partner’s usual spending habits or income. Lavish gifts or dinners you didn’t receive. Cash advances when your partner isn’t traveling. These could point to money being spent on someone else.

Mysterious payments to dating websites or apps. Subscription fees for Tinder, Ashley Madison, or similar services are a major red flag.

Frequent ATM withdrawals in the $20-$100 range, especially late at night or on weekends. This could indicate your partner is paying for drinks, meals, or gifts for someone new in their life.

Unexplained mileage on the car or higher gas bills. If your partner’s commute hasn’t changed but the odometer reading and fuel charges have gone up significantly, it may be a sign they are driving to meet someone else.

Secretive behavior around finances like hiding bank statements or being evasive when you ask questions. Of course, a desire for financial privacy doesn’t always equal cheating. But if coupled with other signs, it’s cause for concern.

The only way to confirm if your partner’s straying financially is through honest communication. Calmly and without accusation, explain what you’ve noticed, and listen with an open mind. While it may be an uncomfortable conversation, clarity, and truth are the foundations of a healthy relationship.

With transparency, you can determine whether their spending habits point to bigger issues or if your worries were unfounded. The answers you seek may not be what you expect, but knowing one way or the other can help put your mind at ease.

Changes in Sexual Intimacy

Changes in your partner’s interest in sexual intimacy or physical affection can be a subtle sign of infidelity. When someone is cheating, their sexual energy and focus is directed outside of the relationship. This can manifest in several ways:

Decreased Sex Drive or Affection

If your partner’s libido seems to have dropped off suddenly or they have stopped initiating physical affection like hugs, kisses, or holding hands, this could indicate their interests lie elsewhere. While a temporary decrease in sex drive can happen for many reasons, if the change seems to have no medical or life stress cause and lasts for an extended time, it may be a red flag.

Different Sexual Appetites or New Techniques

A cheater may demonstrate an increased interest in more adventurous or risque sexual activities that they did not show much interest in before. They may also start employing new techniques or skills that they did not previously demonstrate. These behaviors can indicate that they are picking up new ideas from another partner to bring into your relationship.

Less Engagement During Intimacy

Someone who is cheating may seem distracted or disengaged during sex. They may take longer to achieve orgasm, have difficulty maintaining an erection, or not seem fully present at the moment. Their mind may be on the other person they are involved with, making it hard to focus on you.

While confronting your partner about changes in sexual intimacy may feel uncomfortable, doing so in a caring and compassionate way is important. Let them know specifically what you have noticed that is different, how it makes you feel, and that you want to gain a better understanding of the underlying cause.

Be prepared for potential defensiveness, but stay calm and listen with an open mind. Significant changes in this area of a relationship should not be ignored, as they can be a signal that your partner’s affection and interest lie elsewhere.

New Unexplained Hobbies or Interests

If your partner’s interest in hobbies or activities seems to have significantly increased recently, it could be a sign that something is amiss. People often pick up new hobbies or reignite old passions when they are seeking fulfillment that is lacking in another area of their life—such as their relationship.

Sudden Interest in New Hobbies

Pay attention if your partner abruptly develops an intense interest in a new hobby or activity that seems out of character for them.

For example, if they were never previously interested in photography or cycling but now are spending nearly all their free time engaged in one of these new pursuits, it could indicate they are using it to fill a void or distract themselves from relationship issues.

The same goes for rekindling an old hobby or interest that they had abandoned long ago. A new hobby or activity can be a way to create distance in the relationship and have an excuse to be away from you more often.

Less Interest in Shared Activities

Couples in healthy, committed relationships usually share some common interests or hobbies that they enjoy doing together. If your partner seems less enthusiastic about these shared interests and would rather pursue their new solo hobby instead, it may be a sign that they are pulling away from the relationship.

For example, if you used to enjoy hiking or cooking together on the weekends but now your partner always has an excuse for why they can’t join in, it’s time to find out why their priorities have seemingly changed.

Secretive Behavior Around the New Interest

Another warning sign is if your partner becomes secretive or defensive about their new hobby or interest. Do they get vague or avoid answering questions about where they go or who they spend time with during these activities? Do they seem to feel guilty or make excuses for the time they spend on them? Secretive behavior and lack of transparency are not healthy signs in a trusting relationship.

While developing new hobbies or interests outside of a relationship is normal and healthy for both parties, be on alert if your partner’s new hobby seems to coincide with a distancing from you or a lack of interest in the relationship.

These could be hints that your partner is cheating or at a high risk of cheating. The hobby itself may not be the problem, but it could be a symptom of underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Emotional Distance and Irritability

Emotional distance and irritability are common signs that your partner may be cheating. When someone is being unfaithful, they often become detached and preoccupied as they focus their energy and emotions on the new relationship.

Lack of Affection and Intimacy

Your partner may become less affectionate and less interested in sex or physical intimacy with you. They don’t compliment you as often or say “I love you” spontaneously like they used to. This emotional distancing is a way for them to justify their cheating behavior and compartmentalize their feelings.

Defensive and Critical

Rather than affection, the interactions you do have may turn critical, tense, or argumentative. Your partner gets defensive over small issues and questions your judgment more frequently. This defensiveness is a result of their own guilt and unhappiness, though they won’t admit the real reasons for the change in behavior.

Irritable and Impatient

Cheating often causes anxiety and internal turmoil that leaks out as impatience, irritability, and a short temper. Your partner snaps at you more easily and seems perpetually annoyed over minor issues. They have little tolerance for normal relationship frustrations and conflicts. This irritability is a symptom of the stress they feel in maintaining two separate relationships.

Lack of Communication

Healthy communication is essential for a good relationship, but someone who is cheating will avoid meaningful conversations with their partner. They don’t share details about their life or express their feelings openly anymore. When you try to start a heartfelt discussion, they shut it down quickly and leave you feeling unheard and disconnected.

If you recognize several of these signs in your own relationship, there may be a reason to suspect your partner is cheating or heading down that path. The changes in their behavior and communication signal that they are pulling away from you emotionally and directing their energy into something – or someone – else.

The healthiest step is to have an open, honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and observations. Looking for additional signs of cheating may also help confirm the truth, as difficult as that may be to accept.

With work, communication, and professional counseling, some relationships can heal and rebuild trust after infidelity.

However, in some cases ending the relationship may be the only way to find peace and happiness again.

Secretive About Their Whereabouts

If your partner is acting secretive about their whereabouts, it could be a sign that they are hiding something from you, like infidelity. Some behaviors to watch out for include:

Unexplained absences

If your partner is frequently unavailable with vague excuses about where they were, it could indicate they are spending time with someone else. For example, if they claim to be at work but their co-workers say they left hours ago or took extended lunch breaks, it may be worth investigating further.

Switching up routines

Look for changes in familiar habits and schedules that don’t have a reasonable explanation. For instance, if your partner usually comes straight home from work but now goes to the gym for a few hours a couple of times a week, it could be a cover for meeting up with a lover. Subtle variations in a familiar routine may not seem significant on their own but could be part of a larger pattern of deception.

Guarding their technology

Be on alert if your partner suddenly becomes protective over their devices like their phone, computer, or tablet. For example, if they change their passwords, delete their browsing history and messages, or become cagey when you pick up their phone, it could indicate they are hiding communication with another romantic partner.

Lying about plans

Take note if your partner frequently tells “little white lies” about where they have been or who they were with. For instance, if they said they were working late but then a friend saw them out for dinner, or they claimed to meet up with one friend but were spotted with someone else, it may be a sign of cheating. Even small, seemingly insignificant lies can be a slippery slope into more serious deceit.

While none of these signs conclusively prove your partner is cheating, if you notice a combination of these suspicious behaviors, it may warrant gently confronting them to clarify the situation, express your concerns, and determine whether the relationship can be salvaged. The foundation of a healthy partnership is based on honesty, trust, and mutual respect.

Lying or Avoiding Direct Questions

One of the most common signs of a cheating partner is lying or avoiding direct questions. When a partner is unfaithful, they will go to great lengths to cover their tracks and hide the truth from you. Some signs to look for include:

Evasiveness

Does your partner avoid answering questions directly or in a straightforward manner? Do they beat around the bush, give vague responses, or change the subject when you ask about their whereabouts or activities? Evasiveness is a major red flag that they may be hiding something from you.

Defensiveness

Does your partner get defensive or angry when you ask simple questions about where they’ve been or who they were with? Do they accuse you of not trusting them or spying on them when you’re simply trying to clarify plans or events? Defensiveness signals that they feel guilty about their actions and are trying to deter you from questioning them further.

Inconsistencies

Do parts of your partner’s stories not quite add up or do dates, times, and details frequently change? Inconsistencies in their explanations and timelines are a clear sign that they are fabricating stories to conceal the truth from you.

Avoiding Eye Contact

When answering questions, does your partner have trouble maintaining eye contact with you? Do they look away, stare off into the distance, or at the ground? Avoiding eye contact can be a sign of deceit, as it is more difficult to lie while looking someone in the eye.

If several of these behaviors and signs resonate with you, it may indicate that your partner is hiding something or being unfaithful.

The only way to know for sure is to have an open, honest, and caring conversation with them about your relationship and concerns.

Explain specific instances of evasiveness or inconsistencies you have noticed, and gauge their reaction and willingness to reassure you.

Every relationship faces challenges, but communication and trust are the foundations of a healthy partnership.

Sudden Interest in Appearance

A sudden change in your partner’s appearance or grooming habits could indicate they are cheating. When someone starts a new relationship, they will often make an effort to look and feel their best for the other person.

New Interest in Dressing Up

Has your partner started dressing in nicer, flashier attire more often? Are they spending more time on grooming and hygiene like styling their hair, wearing makeup or cologne when they didn’t before? Your partner may be making more of an effort to impress someone new.

Focus on Fitness

An increased focus on exercise and fitness is another warning sign. Your partner may have started a new workout routine, gym membership, or diet to get in shape for their lover. They want to look good for the person they are cheating with.

Unexplained Receipts

Look for receipts for new clothing, lingerie, or makeup that you did not receive as a gift. Your partner may be buying gifts for someone else or sprucing up their look to appeal to another person.

These types of changes in behavior and appearance are not definitive signs of cheating on their own. However, if combined with other suspicious signs like secretiveness, lack of intimacy, or unexplained absences, it could indicate your partner has started a new relationship.

The best way to determine if your partner’s makeover corresponds to infidelity is through open communication. Calmly and honestly expressing your concerns about their sudden interest in their looks may reveal the underlying reason for the change.

If after discussing the issue you still suspect cheating, looking for additional signs and even doing some discreet investigating may provide clarification.

Ultimately, trust in your relationship may depend on getting to the bottom of your partner’s change in appearance.

Trust Your Gut Instinct

Your intuition is a powerful thing. It has evolved in humans over millions of years to quickly sense threats and danger. So if something feels off about your partner’s behavior or your relationship, trust your gut instinct. It’s usually right.

Some signs your intuition may be picking up on include:

• Your partner seems distant or less affectionate. If the intimacy and closeness you once shared are fading, it could indicate their interests or affections lie elsewhere.
• They are protective or secretive about their phone or social media. If your partner refuses to share passwords, is constantly clearing their browser history, or never leaves their phone unattended, they may be hiding evidence of cheating.
• Their routine or schedule has suddenly changed. Unexplained changes in their typical schedule or new time commitments could be a sign they are making time for someone else.
• They accuse you of cheating. A common tactic of cheaters is to deflect blame onto their partners. If your partner frequently accuses you of seeing someone else with no cause, it may be a sign they feel guilty for their own infidelities.
• They have a decreased interest in sex or physical intimacy. A drop in your sex life or other intimate acts could indicate your partner is getting their needs met by another person. However, a decrease in intimacy could also be due to other issues in the relationship, stress, or health problems.
• Something feels “off” even if you can’t quite pinpoint why. Your intuition may manifest as an unsettled feeling in your gut, a sense of dread you can’t explain, or the vague notion that your partner is hiding something from you. While feelings are not facts, it is worth addressing by having an open and honest conversation with your partner about the state of your relationship and any concerns you may have.

The signs are subtle, but by trusting your intuition and communicating openly with your partner, you can gain clarity on the state of your relationship and address issues before they progress further.

Always follow your instincts, but seek to confirm them through respectful discussion and by looking for additional signs of trouble. With work, even relationships experiencing difficulties can be repaired and trust rebuilt.

Conclusion

In the end, the health of your relationship depends on trust and communication. While no one wants to consider the possibility of infidelity, being aware of changes in behavior and maintaining an open dialog with your partner are the best ways to build a strong foundation.

If needed, seeking counseling could help clarify the situation and determine the best path forward. Every relationship experiences ups and downs, but by making the effort to reconnect and rekindle intimacy, you have the power to get through challenging times together.

Rather than looking for signs of cheating, focus on cultivating a loving partnership built on mutual understanding and respect. With work and commitment to shared values, you can have confidence in the fidelity of your relationship.